You left. Thats what changed. EVERYTHING. There were so many things that you wanted to do. But there was just too little time. it was unfair I was so caught up with schoolwork, i couldnt spend time with you. I had stupid exams that I also couldnt visit you regularly when you were in the hospital.
What im more upset about is, you didn’t keep to your promise to me, you said before I go to Shanghai. But I know you were around when it happened…
Seeing dad really upset about you leaving, it breaks my heart even more that he has regrets about not doing things with you & not telling you about some things which he felt you would be proud of him. its been 21days since I last saw you. Not a day has passed that I do not think of you. I keep thinking im in a bad dream that when I wake up, you are still around I can just take the train to visit you. I worry for alot of people, especially grandma & aunt. The 2 women whom you were closed to your entire life & loved with your heart. You know, i was looking through the picts that has you before leaving for Shanghai, and it makes meknow i miss you so much more. Thats why they say, people always dont treasure what they have until actually lose it, that its the time they regret it alot. I still remember I went to visit you & bought you your favourite colourful kueh on new year's eve. You would take your time & eat layer by layer. I would always laugh to myself, thinking how cute you were, looking like a little baby. I can remember vividly, the day you woke up after your deep slumber sleep, you smiled to me all of a sudden when I talked to you. My heart sinks for awhile & my eyes get teary... I still see/imagine your figure, remembering how you walk, talk, sit etc. Hope you are in a better place, at peace & perhaps having your favourite oats in the morn, rice with soup for lunch, tea with a slice of cake during tea time & fried noodles with ketchup for dinner. Rest assured, we will take care of grandma, aunt & dad. I miss you so much & I love you <3
(Family photo of dad's side, taken in 1987)
(Parents wedding dinner, taken in 1987)
(Last pict together with Grandpa, taken on 27th November 2011)
