was busy helping my aunt & mum with my late uncle's 3rd month death anniversary for the past 2 days this time im present and able to help them with everything but dad wasnt cuz he is still in India i wasnt around for my late grandfather's 3rd month death anniversary cuz i was in Shanghai but i skyped with my family & saw everything cant believe it has been 3months and 9months since they left respectively.... time flies so fast, tat it seems that i can still rmb them vividly, with their physical presence around and the things they might do or say just on monday there was prayers held at the temple for those departed in 2011... hate how im such an emotional beetch~ it was heartbreaking & emotional much but i controlled cuz no one was showing physically so it wldnt be good if i showed it but it felt good cuz my everyone including my grandma went.. except dad wasnt around but we represented him :) i slept with my aunt during my stayover at my grandma's hse and we were talking about my grandfather.... she was telling my how 1 year ago, on 26th Dec, my grandfather went for his check-up.. the test took a few days to be generated and on 30th Dec, the results came out in which my aunt was called to the hospital for the doctor had something to talk her about she went home & broke the news to my 2 elder cousins, Deborah & Daphne.. still have yet to tell the rest As for me, i went to Alexis hse for group project on new years eve & since she stayed near my grandparents hse, i went over to their hse! And that was when i was told about everything Thinking about how fast 1 year just went by like that and we didnt expect things to happen so quickly, i cant help by really treasure everyday with whoever I am with.. simply bcuz life is fragile & that i dont want to have any regrets at all.. not even 0.1% i hope this present number will stop and NOT CHANGE AT ALL!!!!! continue to be like this for all the years to come idc if this is part and parcel of life.. yes im being stubborn but its just hard.. idk im just being very scared thats all i can still rmb, weeks after i was in Shanghai, i kept imagining alot of things.. all the negative possibilities cuz i just wasnt accepting whatever that happened and now, with the new year coming in a few days time, i'll most probably be thinking of the things that happened 1 year ago for the up coming months before all that changed in 2011 im not ready for 2012.. im not ready to grow up and accept reality i want to turn time back to when i was much younger i want to live in the past... pls i want to be at the time where everyone was happy & everything was just easy:'(
